Parents’ FAQs

Tellmi is a safe, anonymous app where you can talk about absolutely anything. And no matter what is going on, chances are someone else on Tellmi has been through it too. Sometimes it’s hard to talk to those closest to you for many different reasons and it can be easier to open up to someone who doesn't know you, anonymity can help young people to be completely honest.

As well as getting help, the community is encouraged to share their experiences to help each other.  There is a lot of research to show that ‘helping’ benefits the ‘helper’ as much as the ‘helped’.

Users make an anonymous post about whatever is on their mind and other users reply to offer support, advice and empathy. All posts and replies are checked by trained human moderators before they can go live. Approved posts appear in the app feed for users in the same age-band to see and reply to. Posts discussing high-risk issues are referred to our in-house counselling team for a private reply.

Sometimes, we need to withhold posts and replies to keep users safe. For example, they may include personal information or inappropriate advice.

Users can also use the Tellmi directory, which is personalised according to a user's age and location, so that they can find the most useful resources and additional sources for support for them.

To keep our users safe all posts and replies are checked by trained human moderators before they go live. The moderators screen out harmful or unhelpful content and anything that might reveal the users real identity. This prevents bullying, harassment and grooming. Posts containing high risk content are redirected to the counselling team for a private reply. This preemptive counselling approach is what makes Tellmi so special. Young people don’t even have to ask for help, it comes straight to them.

The Tellmi app is age-banded; people under the age of 18 only see posts from other people within two years of their age. Adults only see posts from other adults.

Tellmi is completely anonymous and there is no capacity for private messaging between users or any private image sharing, so there is no way for users to share personal information or make contact in real life.

All user accounts are private and confidential. Users cannot exchange any personal information with other users that would allow for identification or contact in real life. So, even if an adult did pretend to be a child, all their replies are moderated before going live, they have no way of speaking privately to them or encouraging them to move to an unmoderated place of communication.

Our users can talk about absolutely anything. From anxiety to autism, dating to depression, or self-harm to self-esteem, sharing their experiences with the Tellmi community helps them to feel better. Tellmi is a safe place where users can discuss sensitive topics they might feel too shy or embarrassed to talk about with other people.

Although some more sensitive topics are discussed on the app, everything is overseen by Tellmi counsellors and conversations facilitated if needed.

We want our users to feel comfortable to express themselves and we do allow some swearing on the app to help our users do just that. However, all posts and replies are screened for judgemental, aggressive or overly offensive language. Our view is that if we place too many controls on how young people can express themselves they will turn to less safe communities such as on social media.

Tellmi has a sensitivity setting and provides the option to block certain topics or users. This enables users to choose what they see. Age banding for users under 18 means that content is age appropriate.

Tellmi moderators undergo comprehensive training in all Tellmi safeguarding policies and procedures.

Moderators screen and risk assess all posts and replies, but they do not interact directly with Tellmi users. All moderators are supported, supervised and undergo regular training updates.

Tellmi counsellors have enhanced DBS checks and relevant counselling qualifications. They all have experience working with children and have experience and qualifications in psychology, counselling or social care. All Tellmi counsellors undergo comprehensive training in Tellmi safeguarding policies and procedures. They are supported, undergo regular training updates and have ongoing supervision.

On registration everyone must provide a validated email address or phone number. This information is encrypted and can only be accessed by the safeguarding team in the event that we need to provide urgent support. Users give us permission to share their details with emergency services if we believe that they are at risk but we also may share these details with a trusted third party without the user’s permission if we are legally obligated to, i.e. if someone was to disclose being a victim of female genital mutilation (FGM)

We ask for a user’s month and year of birth so that they only see content relevant to their age, both in the directory and feed - people under the age of 18 only see posts from other people within two years of their age. Adults only see posts from other adults. It also means that the Tellmi counsellors can better safeguard, understand and offer support with issues users may bring up such as underage smoking.

Finally, we also ask for the user’s postcode. Knowing which town, or area, that a user lives in helps us to personalise the app so that users see relevant local support services in the Tellmi directory.

Collecting postcodes also helps us to get a better understanding of the kinds of issues that people are facing around the country. Anonymised analysis of this data is shared with the NHS and other trusted partners to help them improve mental health support.

In 2022, the Evidence Based Practice Unit at University College London and the Anna Freud Centre published an independent evaluation of the Tellmi app. The nine month study found statistically significant evidence that using the Tellmi app improved users’ mental health.

Using Tellmi led to increased confidence and decreased feelings of loneliness. The app gave young people the tools to manage their own mental health and overall, young people using the app reported feeling better and less alone.

We appreciate that, as a parent or carer, you want to help your child and understand what they’re going through, however everything our users discuss on Tellmi is completely anonymous and confidential. Tellmi is anonymous so that young people feel able to talk about the difficulties in their lives and they need to feel confident that the service is confidential. However, research conducted by the Anna Freud Centre found that using Tellmi gave young people the confidence to open up to their parents about the kind of support that they felt they needed.

When young people sign up to use Tellmi they give us permission to share their details if we are concerned about their welfare. We always try to do this with their cooperation but if we believe that there is a threat to life or where there is a legal, mandatory duty to report we will share information with a relevant third party, such as the emergency services without their consent.

How to help obviously depends on what you are trying to help them with. If the issue is something serious like not eating or self-harming , gentle “what” and “how” questions are better than “why”, which can come across as judgmental. It’s natural to feel panicked but it is important to try to remain calm. You are not going to be able to ‘solve’ these problems overnight so focus on finding ways to win trust and work with your child. The last thing you want them to do is to shut down and pull away from you.

Sometimes it can be easier for young people to open up to someone who doesn't know them. Tellmi allows them to talk anonymously, about anything at all, with other people who are the same age as them. It’s a non-judgemental space which gives them the opportunity to explore difficult issues without having to worry about the implications of being open and research has shown that using Tellmi to practise discussing their feelings gave young people the confidence to open up to their families.

Tellmi Therapy is a text based service delivered via the Tellmi app, provided by specialist trained therapists. It is available for free for certain age groups in NHS commissioned areas. Referrals can be made by parents, carers and professionals. Users can also make a referral for themselves.

Tellmi Therapy follows a Solution-Focused approach which is proven to be safe and effective. You can find out more on our Tellmi Therapy FAQs page.

Please email us at support@tellmi.help with any questions.